How do we get the care we deserve?
It is literally impossible to be a woman patient in today’s healthcare space
TL;DR: This story as a female patient with post-partum pelvic issues has reminded me of how difficult it is for women to find the right type of health professional for their symptoms.
You know you’re in for an interesting day when you wake up, and your leg has decided to go asleep on you. “Hello, left leg? Time to wake up!”
My concern escalated when my usual morning buzz of getting kids ready for school and planning the weekend couldn’t shake the numbness away. The ER flashed in my mind, but with the gusto of a woman juggling life’s endless tasks, I shelved that thought. I needed a doctor, preferably a woman who knew about the nerves from the back and through the pelvis, but no such lady doctor was available.
So, despite my reservations, I did the only thing available—I booked an appointment with the first doctor available, a leap of faith akin to buying a lottery ticket.
I usually always try to find a lady doctor. Years of research support that women doctors tend to listen better, follow algorithms, and have better outcomes (thank you to Dr. Yasmine Ali MDLinx on this article about this). But sometimes you don’t have a choice.
My revelation of pelvic woes, post-motherhood, was met with a blank face, no reaction. The doctor assured me I was fine, my back was fine, but as my leg continued to disagree vehemently, still asleep, going on for months. I realized I had to become my own advocate in my medical mystery–the same way I would for my patients.
A call for “Faircare,” not just Healthcare
As I step into the doctor's office, my identity seems to precede me. To them, I'm just another older woman, my symptoms likely dismissed as psychological fabrications. This prejudgment weighs heavily, creating a fear that my concerns will not be taken seriously.
Ah, the pelvis—center stage for the miracle of birth and yet, curiously, an area where medical specialists play a game of hot potato. Navigating the healthcare maze to find the right expert for this crucial zone is both tricky and can test your patience. Ironic but true, the pelvic floor is a ‘no man’s land’ 😉 .
Thank goodness for my previous triumph in gross anatomy class, I suspect a pinched or injured nerve in my pelvis causing the leg numbing chaos. After a very painful nerve conduction study and seeing a sports physiatrist and several sessions with a pelvic therapist, my leg finally woke up! But it left me wondering—what about those who don’t have the map I have? I hear you, ladies. This is why The Women’s Wellness Project exists!
Women are far more than 'small men.' There's a pervasive gender bias in our healthcare system, and its implications for women are profound and distressing.
Take heart attacks in women as a prime example: we recognize that women's symptoms often manifest quite differently from men's, a critical discovery for diagnosis and treatment. Yet, outside of cardiology, the medical understanding of women's unique symptom presentation is woefully lagging. Too frequently, women's health concerns are hastily dismissed, inadequately investigated, or too quickly attributed to psychological causes without a thorough diagnostic workup. This isn't just a gap in healthcare—it's a chasm that needs urgent bridging. What we need is not just healthcare, but "faircare" - a system that sees us, hears us, and cares for us in our entirety.
We need to beef up our clinical knowledge in this area, especially in the realm of women’s digestive, rectal, and pelvic challenges.
Let’s advocate for a healthcare infrastructure that prizes a thorough medical history and physical exam. Let’s cheer for doctors who don’t just treat, but also listen and specialize in the symphony that is women’s health.
Because at the end of the day, we all deserve to feel like we’re walking on air, not because of numbness, but because we’re supported, understood, and cared for—high heels or flat feet, we stand tall together.
Have you experienced a situation in your health journey where you felt unseen and didn’t get the care you needed? I’d love to hear from you.
End dictation.
Your Lady MD,
Emily
